Reflections for Tootsie: The power of a name

"Ron...My name is Dorothy, not tootsie, or toot or sweety or honey or dove. No, just Dorothy. Now, Allan's always Allan; Tom's always Tom, and John's always John - I have a name too. It's D-O-R-O-T-H-Y, Dorothy."

that to me signalled the change in power dynamics on set during the film.

It's interesting how Dorothy did not correct the doctor when he cut her off, did not listen to her or even try to take liberties with her. Instead, her pet peeve was the way he addressed her. By demanding to be referred to by her given name, Dorothy is putting herself as an equal to the men. With that, she would have to be given the due respect and voice, empowering her on the set.

In a world where males hold dominance in the public sphere, the foremost thing a female needs to possess before she can claim any form of power is her name. It is an outward symbol that she is her own person, not the property of another person. I bring in reference to how it was customary in ancient China to only name males. Even til today, many clan genealogy books state the generation name for males only. Females were rarely given proper names, other than the perfunctory "da mei", "er mei", in accordance of their age. Without even having an identity, how can females be expected to be respected by others?

In this day and age where we all have given names with fanciful meanings behind them, can it be said that the balance of power has shifted in favour of the female gender?

Gender Communication - What?!

In all our discussions so far, in class and virtual world, we have been discussing the many aspects of gender communication, especially the value of good communication and the validity of gender bias.Given the amount of time we devote to this subject matter, why is gender (mis)communication such a big deal? I mean, look at the number of self help books on the book shelves pertaining to this topic!

Drawing a parallel to the English-Singlish debate that is so uniquely Singapore, I think communication between the two genders is so important because these differences in verbal and non-verbal cues highlight the fundamental differences between two people of the opposite sex.

In Singapore, the speak good english campaign is based on the ideology that English and Singlish are opposing forces. As one increases, the other must decrease. Hence, the government's stance is to eliminate the prevalent use of Singlish, lest we lose the ability to communicate effectively with the world at large.

Similarly, the communication styles of men and women are seen to be conflicting, even having an inverse relationship, if I were to take it to the extreme. By using the communication method of the other gender, or using something that the other gender is remotely able to identify with, am I losing my sense of self? It is perhaps this sense of self-identity and the desire to preserve something that is fundamental to an individual that fuels gender miscommunication.

The true problem arises when the two genders are supposed to be a collective unit. That means, to speak the same language. Societal construction of relationship hinges on the invisible line of what is them and us. If we can't understand each other, what defines our relationship and what is the difference between them and us?

Perhaps, gender (mis)communication is a manifestation of a larger issue - the identity and solidarity of two different individuals in a relationship.