In "Can't We Talk?", Deborah Tannen suggests that gender miscommunication can be attributed to the radically different speech patterns of both genders. Although this might be true, I would like to suggest another reason. Instead of speech, I propose that it is the thought process results in gender miscommunication.
When faced with the same situation, men and women process it differently, resulting in the different responses (verbal or otherwise). The miscommunication occurs when one gender assumes that the other is thinking in the ex.act same way or wants the other to think in the same way.
I particularly enjoy the segment of this video where the manager and his secretary are both thinking at their desks, wondering why the other party behaved the way he/she did. To translate it into a scenario that might be more familiar to us, think about the last family reunion or wedding dinner you went to: the aunts will talk about anything under the sun, switching from topic to topic with ease. Kids, housework, shopping and sales, even the latest drama serial – nothing to them is insignificant. The uncles’ conversation is interspersed with more moments of polite silence and centred in more “significant” topics like stocks and the economy or current affairs in general. To both genders, meaningful conversation is made and familial ties strengthened, but it is just the way men and women perceive what is important that differs.
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